Marriage
Character: Homer Simpson:
“Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.â€
When Life Gives You Lemons
“When life gives you lemons, do not make lemonade. And for gods’ sakes, don’t throw them at someone. Instead, think. Think long and hard about what you did to get these lemons. Because if you can get an abstract concept like Life to give you real, physical lemons, you’re one step away from the secrets of the universe.” – PhoeKun
Average Stupid Person
“Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half are even stupider!†– Carlin