Fish & Incentive
Often there is a big struggle over putting on shoes and socks (and keeping them on one’s feet) especailly for Sergey, Damien is usually fine.
I have started a new rewards program in the house, similar to credit cards (OK not really all that close) since they both like to feed the fish and press the button for the garage door, I decided they are not allowed to do eaither unless they have their shoes and socks on.
Since there are two tasks, and I have two boys of task age (in a 18 months I’ll need to add a new task), we alternate who gets to do which task.
Odd days Damien gets to feed the fish, and Sergey presses the button, on even days they switch. No apparently Fish Feeding, is the coveted task, and Button Pushing, is still cool but not as cool as Fish Feeding (for obviose reasons which are not apparent to me). Often Button Pushers try to eleveate themselves to be Fish Feeders, to no avail. Sometimes Fish Feeders want to ALSO be Button Pushers, which I tell them it is OK if the want be a Button Pusher, as long as they let their brother be a Fish Feeder, the answer is always NO.
So today when Sergey decided to almost come to get his shoes on (he stopped just out of arms reach and sat down with a “I dont want too“). Just telling him that if he didn’t have shoes on he wouldn’t Feed the Fish. This was not enough for Sergey how held his ground and said “No“. So I upped the stakes, “If you don’t have your shoes on, then I’ll let Damien Feed the Fish“, I said. That was all it took, he walked right over sat in my lap and mad a grab for the socks.
Parenting Tip: It is much easier to hold something hostage than it is to force your kids to do what you want.
Olya said,
September 12th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Probably a lot better than my method, which involves pinning them down and growling “the shoes go on RIGHT NOW!!! do you understand me, young man????”
Shannon said,
September 12th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
I like Bill’s method. I might have to steal this on (assuming I can find a good reward – nothing’s coming to mind right now). Especially since my method involves chasing Alex around the house until I can grab him. Once I get him, it’s not usually a fight, but he knows if I’m not touching him, I can’t make him do anything.